Applewine
October 2006
This record finds Alex honing his idiosyncratic style even further into an original middle ground between goof-pop songs and funeral dirges. Many of the songs return to the long-favored theme of modern life's follies. Did I just write "follies"? Ew. Also, I bet you've never heard anyone rhyme "tsunami" with "salami." Eat it, Bob Dylan. But as your ear drums will confirm, a fine-tuned focus on melody and guitars shows Alex's songwriting at its strongest yet, with songs for you to sing by yourself in your shower (or with other people, if that's your thing). Alex's production is also his clearest and cleanest yet, providing the perfect Monet-like canvas for these papoose-like songs.
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Track Listing
(click titles for lyrics)
1. Plains Of Mostly Still Life
2. Coldplay Got Eaten By Piranhas
3. Fearful Symmetry
4. I Can Kill My Enemies With My Mind
5. Engulf The Manatee
6. Under Your Spell
7. Hills Of The Mind
8. Land Of Dainty Wonder
9. I Hope You're Never Crushed By Something Heavy
10. I Wasn't Meant To Be
11. The Bevel Collector
12. Bugs
13. Update Your Blog
14. Corn Dog Shaped Like California
15. All I Have To Do Is Hurt You
16. Elysium
Plains Of Mostly Still Life
You walk along plains of mostly still life
While they complain mostly of the rug size
Detest the worst dressed
Get tired and then rest
Get up at 8
Get to work late
Collect your rebate
Yonder meadow feels brighter when blind
The Southern Ocean goes deeper in my mind
Let me start again-without my eyes I'm blind
Soggy skies wipe down my foggy eyes
Cooling pies taken by me in disguise
Soggy skies wipe down my foggy eyes
Just shake and handshake in my disguise
You can hurt me anytime you want
As long as you apologize
I tossed my Frosty in the recycle bin
I left the Wendy's in Tualatin for West Linn
They may not know they're all your guests
These traffic lights make me feel alive
Some may not know they're wearing vests
Cut off my arms just to save one life
Soggy skies wipe down my foggy eyes
Cooling pies taken by me in disguise
Maybe leave this mostly still life behind
Coldplay Got Eaten By Piranhas
It was a sad, dark day
I woke up, leaned over, then purged
And I turned on the radio and heard
That Coldplay got eaten by piranhas
I had a bad week
In an already bad month and year
And on top of this I have to hear
That Coldplay got eaten by piranhas
I didn't want to know the details
Because I couldn't take any more bad
I didn't need more than I had had
Even before
Coldplay got eaten by piranhas
It was Friday the 13th
And I'd narrowly avoided being murdered
And when I couldn't be upset any further
Coldplay got eaten by piranhas
It was the day I buried my best friend
And my dog got hit by the hearse
And when it couldn't get any freaking worse
Coldplay got eaten by piranhas
It was a bad life
In an existence of bad lives
I was broken out in full body hives
It was then that I heard
Thanks to a dose of the absurd
A bad combination of words
Coldplay got eaten by piranhas
Coldplay got eaten by piranhas
Fearful Symmetry
You sailed to the hidden unheard
And when you returned I saw
A girl who glowed
Encrypted in the code
Within your sack a broken Swiss watch
Broken slivers of a white picket fence
The Holy Grail's moss
A spool of minty floss
You sailed out of humdrum days
And when you came back at blue dawn
Your eyes turned clear
Invisible to years
Your message came in many fierce nods
Though I picked up on every mad shake
A specter of a soul
The spectrum of control
Say you cast away your fearful symmetry
You said, "The golden age begins right here
Just if you make them all disappear
The golden age begins right now
If you call on her to show you how"
You sailed to the end of time
And though it was all in your head
It's forever been
Just below the skin
You came back with a handful of yarn
Silver, stretching past the matter at hand
The matter in your head
The bugs inside your bed
Say you cast away your fearful symmetry
I Can Kill My Enemies With My Mind
I got myself an arch nemesis
I curse the day he was born
But I don't need a crossbow
I can kill my enemies with my mind
I came across a ruthless tyrant
Everyone felt oppressed
But I don't need to organize a lynch mob
I can kill my enemies with my mind
There's no plank upon my boat
There's no need to hide the antidote
Because I don't need hands to choke your throat
And that's a good thing because I don't have hands
I can kill my enemies with my mind
I came across a deadly sea serpent
It ate up all the salty sailors
But I don't need a flaming trident
I can kill my enemies with my mind
I came across the Devil himself
The cause of all pain and strife
But I don't need karate skills
I can kill the Devil with my mind
It's no use to tie me up with rope
And watch my every move through your periscope
Because even when you're miles away
My mind's still shootin' out a plasma ray
I can kill my enemies with my mind.
Engulf The Manatee
If I wasn't frozen like I be
I would engulf the manatee
Engulf the manatee
I'd stop short of enveloping a sea cow
Because it's 2065 and I'm frozen
And I'm still working on engulfing the manatee
Engulf the manatee
And oh the things I'd do with a manatee at one with me
And oh the things I'd say to you with a manatee inside of me
I'd make you kiss my grits
But I'm frozen in an ice cube
If I wasn't frozen in the future
I would engulf the manatee
In the gulf, the manatee
I'd stop short of consuming the penguin
Because I'm stuck in a steel tank and I'm chilly
And I still gotta do my taxes first before I engulf the manatee
Engulf the manatee
And oh the things I'd do with a manatee at one with me
And oh the things I'd say to you with a manatee inside of me
I'd make you kiss my grits
But I'm frozen here with Ice Cube
Listen up manatee, I'm talkin to you
I need to absorb you and your blubbery blue
You'd hear the sound of the sea cows moo
And then I'd draw and quarter you
Yes, I'd draw and quarter you
If I wasn't frozen with Jesse
Uncle Jesse
I would engulf the manatee
Engulf the manatee
Be one with the manatee
Manatee healing
Manatee remedy
Entice the manatee
Engulf the manatee
EnGULF.
Under Your Spell
Hey
The faces fade at night
Your eyes watch every car drive by
A heavy sight
Your stride slows to a crawl
Waiting for the other shoe to fall
A heavy sound
I'm awake inside a distant mystic land
That's why I'm under your spell
White painted over the vision of a lamb
And left you another farewell
That's why I'm under your spell
The Rose and the Sunday bell
And
The things you keep inside
Uncover every key to constant flight
Inside a box
In a place you'll never tell
Paving over roads you knew so well
You pull away
I see you and everyone watching the sun
Waiting for a new star
Wanting for a new star
Killing for a new star
But of course you're just being you
Hills Of The Mind
I'm in there with ways I can't go
Just a mile from the holy land
Planting rocks to grow a new city
Years later, see were we left off
In your time you'd climb up the hills
Climb up the hills into my mind
Can't ring your bell
But I can repel
Down the hills in back of your mind
There's a diamond-shaped box in there
With stories of the 19th round
"Your life is dirt and the pills don't work.
I think you should go back to sleep."
Stick my tongue out, pet this kitten
Cough up a piece of I.D.
Scour the rug for tiny brown bugs
Close my eyes and roll down the hill
How many fill the sky with lofty feelings?
From the way they took the painting from the ceiling
Great things grow inside your tipi
So many smile from my knees
Hanging by a silver ripcord
Petty feelings
Blast a grandma, shave some wrist hair
Meet God and then move to the East
Idle movement so I can't prove it
You head up to the hills of the West
How many fill the sky with lofty feelings?
From the way they took the painting from the ceiling
Land Of Dainty Wonder
Jumping up and down
Marshmallow trampoline
Under vanilla domes
Where the cast of Frasier roams
Forest critters know
Where the flowers grow
As happy tears fly
From Ed Kowalczyk's eyes
Taking in the sun, on brown sugar beaches
Writing secret codes in the sand
The sun, a smiling man
Ice cream rays give sundae tans
Trees of candy cane
Picnic with John McCain
Bopping to and fro
Stars of lemon glow
Cocoa mountains where we climb
Where Van Morrison's a mime
Marmalade dolphins whisper sweet secrets
Making fun of urchins everywhere
Cotton candy cats
Smoking cinnamon cigars
Wispy whispered purring
From butterscotch cars
Jawbreaker sitars
Playing simple melodies
Caramel marbles fly
Over ground of chocolate pie
Playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with Thomas Paine
Take the sugar train
To a place you can't explain
Sail on pudding seas
Al Gore says "sister please!"
Jelly rattlesnakes swim in soda pop lakes
You'll never ever want to go home
By now you have to wonder
If you've died and gone to heaven
With bubble gum icebergs
And tiny Steven Spielbergs
Take a look around you
There's a land of dainty wonder out there
Somewhere out there
I Hope You're Never Crushed By Something Heavy
More and more I see you stain your soul
Godless life, cartoons and rock and roll
Friday night-woo-put on yer red gown
And slide into the darkness on the edge of town
The afterlife for heathens can be scary
So I hope you're never crushed by something heavy
In my mind, in ethereal space
I see you under me with a melting face
Round and round until you're all but saved
I had some kids and pressed it on them till they caved
Satan waits for you under my Chevy
So I hope you're never crushed by something heavy
I nurture my addiction on my new Dell laptop
But when I pray, I can hear a little plop
I never said a word about the complications
Office jobs, trials and tribulations
The afterlife for heathens can be hairy
So I hope you're never crushed by something heavy.
I Wasn't Meant To Be
I'm in need of sleep
So lull me with some start-the-party def jams
I moved to the suburbs to round out my collection of web cams
I wish I could assimilate
And let my air pouch deflate
But sometimes I don't want to wake up
Put on the DJ Rob Base and let me drift off
I'm personified against my own wishes
Now that I'm self aware, I'm too big for my britches
Someone cut me down before I'm too deep in the ground
I'm free
But I'm a monster
I wasn't meant to be
I'm in need of purpose
So I moved out to Lake Oswego
The next thing on my checklist to buy is speakers for the patio
Now I can eat chips and humus
Wretch and cringe and wince and grimace
But sometimes I don't want to wake up
Put on some Tag Team and dress me in a dobak
What's this that I'm feeling?
Am I bored or is my skin just peeling?
I'm aware of time now
Oh how my life has drifted
What am I to do with this life that I've been gifted
I wasn't meant to be!
The Bevel Collector
I'm the bevel collector
Tool shed chic taken to another level
Hook up the lie detector
And I'll show you my bevels on the overhead projector
When I've got you on my mind
There's always a bevel going unpined
I'm the bevel collector
I'm the bevel collector
I have one that looks like Netanhayu
Have a glass of nectar
And I'll show you my bevels on the overhead projector
When your bevel is all alone
There's a connection waiting to be shown
I'm the bevel collector
So I'm stepping up
Talking down to your protractor
Oh no
Go somewhere else if you need a right angle
Oh yes
I'm the bevel collector
Just like my pa and all my ancestors
I'm a bevel protector
Jim Jarmusch is my favorite director
When I've got you on my mind
There's always a bevel going unpined
I'm the bevel collector
When I've got you on my mind
There's always a bevel going unpined
I'm the bevel collector
They all pass a rigorous test
But I always know which one's the best
I'm the bevel collector
I'm the bevel inspector
Bugs
Today today my high status has been trampled on
I found some bugs on my wall
Flesh eating beetles wanna eat through my mind
And now you know my secret
My head is filled up with bugs
I can't stop thinking 'bout bugs
My home is crawling with bugs
Please don't pay note to the bugs
What shortcoming, what taboo internal flaw
Has made my humble home their lair?
All I can do is say there's nothing I could do
But you won't believe me
Now half the bugs I see aren't really there
But that's okay, as long as they're not there
All I can do is say there's nothing I could do
But you won't believe me
Update Your Blog
You never update your website
How can we be friends when you neglect to write?
So don't neglect your blog
Don't avoid your blog
You can disregard me if you please
But don't ignore your blog
I check your blog ten times a day
With friends like me you should be typing away
Don't forsake your blog
Don't desert your blog
You can disregard me if you please
But don't ignore your blog
Where is my Christmas update?
Where is my birthday update?
What kinds of movies have you seen?
What did that Death Cab song mean?
Drop me some gossip on your new romance
Your antiwar stance and fierce leftist rants
So don't neglect your blog
Don't avoid your blog
You can disregard me if you please
But don't ignore your blog
Where is my Christmas update?
Where is my birthday update?
I dig the suicide theme
I dig the Chuck Norris meme
Back in the day you were a blog whore
I don't know who you are anymore
Don't forsake your blog
Don't desert your blog
You can disregard me if you please
But don't ignore your blog
Corn Dog Shaped Like California
I eluded a tsunami
Saved a stick of your salami
Curse the day that I went making up your ring tone
And I maybe didn't make it
Flooding shook up my foundation
Zoom lens reflected in the inundation
The rain I thought was coming from above
Was coming from the side
Ways I went to find you in the rubble
The clock I found on top was floating--
And it wasn't sound--
I didn't hear another sound inside the dog pound
See me fleeing from the blood
Caused by earthquake off the California coast
And as a symbol I remembered from my old life
A corn dog shaped like California
(Nibbled on the pier by the bay)
A corn dog shaped like California
(Chomped on by the beach's blue spray)
I do confide the tide was bona fide
But lacked the curl that when I surfed down in the bay
Won me the girl
Even now I'm thinking even though I should be sinking
That I'm drinking in the curl from the girl
Even when I fall in love my mind is wandering
Somewhere above the lake that has now become an ocean
See him dressing to impress
Because the tragedy caused by the earthquake
Isn't just enough to make him wonder
And even when I'm clean here and I feel I have to warn ya
I want the corn dog shaped like California
For some it's a memento
Maybe just a lone pemento
That you taste when you're on your way home
Not a single cunning thief or the shallow coral reef
Can wash away the thought that kept you climbing
For the corn dog that's shaped like California
All I Have To Do Is Hurt You
Mother's gone to buy the bread
I've been left to bury the dead
You see the shadows come knocking at the door
Tax collector, man or mother Earth?
Say you don't like the path you've taken
All I have to do is hurt you
Brother's done enough for two
I've been left to keep away the blue
So much noise, I strain to hear your voice
The briny deep or the emptiness of black
Say you don't like the path you've taken
All I have to do is hurt you
To wake up inside the dream
All I have to do is hurt you
Is that what I meant when I said
That everything moves by cause and effect
Is that what it all comes down to
That everything moves from the moment you say
That you disagree
You just have to find a way
To wake up inside the dream
All I have to do is hurt you
To make up for all you've seen
All I have to do is hurt you
Elysium
Been around the block too much
And now I have to wonder
Did Bing Crosby really like bing cherries?
What's a guy to do 'round here
About technical support for beards
Technical support for beards
Something's not right with the flow of reality
Like someone grew crops on the fields of Elysium
On the fields of Elysium
On the fields of Elysium
Been around the world too much
And it's eating at my mind
Should I move to the North Pole and sell compasses?
What's a gal to do 'round here
About hot and hungry mountain lions?
Very hungry mountain lions
Something's not right with the flow of reality
Like someone grew crops on the fields of Elysium
On the fields of Elysium
On the fields of Elysium
I don't agree with my neighbor's world view
He's all into 9/11 jokes
Been around the block too much
And now I have to wonder
Would it all come down
On the fields of Elysium?
On the fields of Elysium