The Brask
February 2003
In 2003, Alex abandoned his ambitions of becoming an acoustic minstrel (as heard on Sacramento Gold) and returned to the goof-pop of A Bunch Of Songs. However, the focus is more on the actual songs and less on the non-songs. Every song hits the same spot that songs like "Surgeon" and "Sports Fright" from A Bunch Of Songs soothed and massaged. Songs like the fluffy "Let The Sideburns Burn" and the surf-pop "Freeze Tag" take you waaaay back to 2002, before we all left home for the trenches in the great war.
Track Listing
(click titles for lyrics)
1. Blimp
2. Let The Sideburns Burn
3. Tentacle
4. She Wants To Kiss Me
5. Colorado
6. Pangaea
7. (What's Up Witchoo?) Fu Man Chu
8. I Have To Go Bee
9. Hit In Brazil
10. Arts And Crafts
11. Brassstache
12. Please Please Please
13. Freeze Tag
14. The Bog And The Bayou
15. Do The Splits
16. Prince Williams Secret Moustache
Blimp
Floating so high
I can imagine mine
Steam powered, big, and serpentine
All aboard!
There's a smorgasbord
With links, franks, weenies, and zucchinis
You can stay for a night
We'll leave on the light
If you ever feel frightened
You can always tell the pilot
And the pilot is me!
I learned to fly at three
Ain't no rock band
Gonna be named after me
If Russia cooperates
And China can tolerate
I'll make this blimp ambassador for space
But if aliens attack
I've got lasers in the back
I may be sour, but I've got all the power
Shoot them from the sky
There's nothing like a killing high
What was once a smorgasbord
Is now an overlord
I don't like competition
Can I have some ammunition?
My blimp likes action
And frightful reactions
And everyone approves
Because they know they'll lose
Screw the aliens, shoot anything that moves!
Let The Sideburns Burn
You let them burn
You let them burn
You let them sideburns burn
You let them burn
You let them burn
You let them sideburns burn
Flaming toupee
Flaming toupee
Don't shun my shaving ways
You're just like me
You're just like me
It's half or everything
Mathematic trouble
Half or whole or double
My mathematic trouble
No, pop-a-matic bubble!
Money's kind of tight right now
I have to shave this off somehow
'Cause even when I sleep at night
This one sideburn don't feel right
One sideburn
One sideburn
When you gonna learn?
Between the cheekbone and the chin
You're never gonna win
Just like me
You're just like me
Facial hair free
Keep the faith
Better keep the faith
Your stache can still be saved
You drum beat, it loves you
It likes you and it think you're pretty cool
Pretty rad and kinda bad
The kinda bad that you wish you kinda had
You let them burn
You let them burn
You let them sideburns burn
You let them burn
You let them burn
You let them sideburns burn
One sideburn, one sideburn
One sideburn, one sideburn
Tentacle
I took a trip to the wharf
I want an extra arm
I covet a tentacle
I want some extra help
I covet a tentacle
I want an octopus to slow dance with
I want an octopus to slow dance with
I want to slow dance with some octopi
Then tell them some lies
I yearn for a tentacle and a barnacle
I yearn for a tentacle and a barnacle
Speak in spectacular tentacular vernacular
Speak in spectacular tentacular vernacular
I took a trip to the wharf
I saw an octopus that refilled my pen
I say it's just as well, it's scampi hell
I say it's just as well, it's scampi hell
I just wanted one for show and tell
Amongst other thingz
She Wants To Kiss Me
Before I hold your hand
I'm in a band
There's just one man in this band
Didn't fight in 'Nam
But I like to jam
Until there's one man in this band
They make you keep both eyes open
Thanks to you my kazoo is broken
Thank you very much!
She wants to kiss me and play Parcheesi
Don't touch my back
Don't touch my back
Don't touch the small of my back
But touch my six pack
I'm just kidding, don't touch my six pack
They make you keep both eyes open
Thanks to you my kazoo is broken
Thank you very much!
She wants to kiss me and play Parcheesi
I'm not blowing you off
I promise I'm not blowing you off
Okay yeah, I really am blowing you off
Hey check it out, Dunkin' Donuts coffee!
Thank you very much!
She wants to kiss me and play Parcheesi
Colorado
There is a boulder and it's fueled by Gaia
Like a rolled up tight tortilla
And it rolled across the river this morn
That boulder's perfectly round
That boulder's perfectly round
And it will keep you safe and sound
A mobile dirty mound
Now now now
Activate the geotechnics
Down down down
Activate the geotechnics
Now now now
Activate the geotechnics
Activate the geotechnics
I'm dirty but I'm flat
My pompadour's all that
And a bag of chips
With a humus dip
You make me wanna do front flips
You make me wanna do front flips
No trampoline
No Listerine
No troubled teen
No Springsteen
I don't want anyone to know
No way
I don't want anyone to know
Please stay
No trampoline
No Listerine
No troubled teen
No Springsteen
No troubled teen
No Springsteen
Pangaea
Thanks to gentle continental drift
There's nothing left of it today
And I wanted to play
On Gondwanaland the next day
Pangaea can I show you something?
Pangaea can I show you something?
Pangaea can I show you something cool?
Some punk rock albums
Antarctica, Himalaya
High peaks and ice caps
Around me they run laps
Tectonic motion
Now there's more than one ocean
Pangaea can I show you something?
Pangaea can I show you something?
Pangaea can I show you something cool?
Some new Star Wars Legos
Thank you gentle continental drift
Thank you gentle continental drift
Thank you gentle continental drift
Between me and you now there's a rift
Pangaea can I show you something?
Pangaea can I show you something?
Pangaea can I show you something cool?
Some Star Wars Legos
Some pirate Legos
(What's Up Witchoo) Fu Man Chu
I'm a hardass smartass ass killa
I'm a blue belt bear pelt symbiotic
I'm not worthy of your precarious moustache dangling
What's up witchoo?
Fu man chu
I'm a reject preset of modern living
I need a change baby change baby change
I'd be with you
Girl, if it grew
And it's a very long moustache
But you will find it makes me even stronger
I Have To Go Bee
Would you like to sign up for my bee?
Would you like to sign up for my bee?
I'm going to quiz you and ask you things
I'm going to quiz you and ask you things
This exam is a sham
This exam is a sham
This exam is a sham
This is the ultimate bee
In this exam I might ask you 'bout 'Nam
Geography or spelling
Or math or phonics
Or chemistry or taxonomy
Or biology or dentistry
The maximum bee
I could ask you anything
The ultimate bee
I could ask you anything
You never know what it could bee
You can bee anything you like
Get ready
I'm going to ask you something
On your marks
Get set
Stop!
This isn't a freaking race
This is a goddamn spelling me
And I'm your host, the Bee Keeper
Would you like to sign up for my bee?
Would you like to sign up for my bee?
This exam is a sham
This exam is a sham
This exam is a sham
This is the ultimate bee
In this exam I might ask you 'bout 'Nam
Hit In Brazil
I'm peanuts here but I'm a hit in Brazil
Whoa yeah
I'm a hit in Brazil
I might have a way to break out in the States
Whoa yeah
Maybe tour with Tom Waits
Everyone thinks I'm a joke here
But really I'm a cult hit
Anywhere but here I'm a rock star
Dude, you want my CD-R?
Trust me, some people in Seattle have my mp3s
I count my songs off with a one-two-three
But without the four, what's it all for?
I'm packing my bags for an American tour
Whoa yeah
South American tour
You can't see me now because I went to Japan
Whoa yeah
See now I'm a man
Everyone thinks that I'm all talk
I'm playing at a barbecue around the block
Anywhere but here I'm a rock star
Dude, you want my CD-R?
Trust me, some people in Berlin have my mp3s
I count my songs off with a one-two-three
But without the four, what's it all for?
I've got a new demo in a slim case
I'm a master of the D.I.Y rat race
And I'm checking out the chicks
In the grrl rock headlining tour act
Maybe someday I'll get my break
Off a cover of Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell"
I know it by heart, I know it really well
Because I'm not songwriter, I'm a singer
Arts And Crafts
SCENE MISSING
Brassstache
I meow at your goatee
I meow at your eye patch
I meow at your punk dog collar
I meow at your brassstache
I meow at your lunch sack
I meow at your fanny pack
I meow at your hybrid yak
I meow at your brassstache
Your moustache makes me randomly break out into "Rebel Yell"
More more
And then I wanna go make out with a catfish
Moustache aphrodisiac
Brassstache!
Your moustache makes me randomly break out into "Tainted Love"
Oh love
Your moustache makes me yearn for moustache insurance
I think it pays off double
Under your brass stache
Your brass stache makes me cat-like
On the New Jersey Turnpike
I'm feelin' feline dirty tonight
Meow.
Please Please Please
Please please please
Won't you heckle me?
Please please please
Won't you tickle me?
Please please please
Please please please
Please please please
If you share your disease with me
I'll share my collection of Chinese teas
Well the world is out of control
And you're out kicking skulls
I'm often not at home
But you can help yourself to a scone
Ya wanna beat Lobotomy James at some board games
When there's all sorts of low flying planes
David Wains and Jackson, Jermaines
Take up the centaur reigns into the fast lane
A Cliff Clavin maven
All the money I been savin'
Has got me misbehavin' all over the pavement
The water I bathe in is every wave from the ocean
I'm always gonna cave in so they're sayin'
Well the world is spinning around
And this I noticed just now
I'm often not at home
I hope you make friends with my deadbolt
Please please please
Won't you heckle me?
Please please please
Won't you tickle me?
Please please please
Please please please
Please please please
If you share your disease with me
I'll share my collection of Chinese teas
Freeze Tag
I'm standing still all day watching you play
And I don't want to crawl between your legs
This is freeze tag and I'm back watching you play
I'm not a good runner but I'm a good jumper
When snack time comes around I'm still standing
In the same position and no recognition
You're all drinking Yoo-Hoo not once but twice
But I'm standing here frozen in a block of ice
Tag now you're standing very still
Tag now all you can do is chill
Tag you're standing in that spot until
I touch you, but you ought to know I probably won't
I'm miles and miles and miles from the base
And I wish I was closer than this to the base
If I was closer than this to the base
I wouldn't be standing still upon the hill
The sun's going down and the chances are high
That I'll never move again and I'm living a lie
I'm another one of many who know the truth
That playing freeze tag will be the end of you
Tag now you're standing very still
Tag now all you can do is chill
Tag you're standing in that spot until
I touch you, but you ought to know I probably won't
The Bog And The Bayou
Gonna get a fancy piece of real estate
Where the gators and crocs go out on dates
In the bog and the bayou
Gonna get a guitar like this one
Gonna get a wicked harmonium
In the bog and the bayou
Wanna trade a Honus Wagner rookie card
For a wicked piece of real estate?
In the bog and the bayou
In the bog and the bayou
Eat some Juju B's, get stung by bees
Get the heebee jeebies, pine for Phoebe
In the bog and the bayou
Fish for fish and fish for fish
And fish for fish and fish for piranhas
In the bog and the bayou
Wanna trade a Honus Wagner rookie card
For a wicked piece of real estate?
In the bog and the bayou
In the bog and the bayou
And I'm gonna have the largest barge on the block
If you see my name written in the clouds in the sky
Then you'll know where I live
In the bog and the bayou
Do The Splits
Everybody freakin' do the splits
Don't be uncool, stay in clown school
Who's gonna treat you right, girl?
Who's gonna treat you right?
Prince Williams Secret Moustache
I know it's not to blame
I know everything's the same as it used to be
Except for just one thing
Just one thing
When his moustache interrupted the class
Prince William's secret moustache
You're hard pressed to find a more scandalous trough tuft
Prince William's secret moustache
You can't defy it or spy on his lip fluff
I know just what's to blame
It's all because of those damn Nintendo games
He was playing Ninja Gaiden
And Mortal Kombat as Raiden
But it's a fine time to shave
He can't find time to shave
Prince William's secret moustache
You're hard pressed to find a more scandalous trough tuft
Prince William's secret moustache
You can't defy it or spy on his lip fluff
We should have known
Now your killer cover is blown
I read it in the tabloid
You're big fan of Metroid
But that's just a clever ruse
A game you're going to lose